Criticisms

'The only way to avoid criticism is to do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.' Everyone seems to be an expert in finding faults … spouses, friends, co-workers, parishioners, children. We often seem to get them wrong: we do the wrong thing, say the wrong thing, and fail to notice the things that we're supposed to notice.

Being right doesn't help. Neither does loving everyone or being perfect. The world crucified the only One with these qualities. He was criticized by friends, family and religious leaders.

The criticism is sometimes a comment, and sometimes only a look, a sigh, or even silence. But we have no doubt that we've been found lacking once again! What we do or say does not correspond to their expectations.

Sometimes we react well. Like the preacher when confronted with a parishioner criticizing his homilies. He just looked at the woman and said, "If what you say is true, would you mind praying for me?" Yes, as Dale Carnegie once said, any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do. So, he continues, when they hand you a lemon, make lemonade!

Easier said than done! Many times we become defensive or discouraged. We can pretend indifference. We can conjure up justifications for ourselves, explaining why we had to do what we did. We can reply angrily and condemn the critic - in our hearts or out loud. We can blurt out the list of accomplishments to use as armor against our critics. The problem is that none of this seems to help much!

It is true, criticism has a positive side. First of all, if you are being criticized it is probably because you have taken a risk and did something. Secondly, as with failure, criticism may be regarded as valuable feedback and a necessary part of the learning process. It was the negative criticism that forced Beethoven and Mozart to soar higher. The book of Proverbs says, "Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom for the future."

But why is it that we cannot just ignore the criticism and move forward without bitterness and pain? Because there is an underlying issue that needs to be resolved. We want to be valued for who we are. But in criticism we hear, 'I value you less' or 'I don't value you at all' or 'I'd value you more if you hadn't done or said that.'

This is why the real way to handle criticism is discovering someone who can value us as we are. Someone who will still value us when we mess up. Someone who will never put us down. And as far as I know, there is only one who can do this. His name is God.

If we live in the awareness of His affection, criticism loses a lot of its bite. It is no longer that important what people think of us. The pastor received an anonymous note with nothing but the word 'FOOL!' written on it. The next Sunday he said in Church, 'I've gotten many notes without signatures before, but this is the first time I got one where someone forgot to write the note and just signed his name!'

At one point in his ministry, George Whitefield, an English evangelist received a vicious letter accusing him of wrongdoing. His reply was brief and courteous: "I thank you heartily for your letter. As for what you and my other enemies are saying against me, I know worse things about myself than you will ever say about me. With love in Christ, George Whitefield."

Beat your critic down with humor. After mass, one of the listeners came up to the priest and said, "Father, you quoted the wrong book of the Scriptures." "Yes?" he answered, "And what else did you get out of the sermon?"

A young musician's concert was poorly received by the critics. The famous Finnish composer Jean Sibelius consoled him by patting him on the shoulder and saying, "Remember, son, there is no city in the world where they built a statue to a critic."

The story is told of a judge who was frequently ridiculed by a lawyer. When asked by a friend why he didn't rebuke his assailant, he replied, "In our town lives a widow who has a dog. And whenever the moon shines, the dog goes outside and barks all night." "So?" asked the friend… "Oh," the judge replied, "the moon goes on shining - that's all."

A Healing Shadow

Once there was a man who was so good that even the angels used to wonder at his goodness. His goodness used to spread like a perfume upon all those who met him. He himself was unaware that he was so good.

What was this goodness? Very simple! He never thought ill of anyone! He would quickly forget the bad deeds that others would do to him! He always viewed others in a guileless, simple-hearted light.

Once an angel of the Lord appeared to him and informed him that God wished to reward his goodness.

"Would you like me to give you the gift of healing?" queried the angel.
"No, no..." answered the man. "It is God who heals people."

"Would you like me to give you the gift of converting people with your powerful words?"
"No, no, touching the hearts of men is not my work, but the sublime work of the angels."

"Would you like me to make you such a model of virtue that everyone will wish to be as holy as you?"
"No, no, I do not want others to look at me. Let them seek God. He alone is holy."

The angel insisted, "But what would you like me to do for you? What would you like me to give you?"
"Nothing," answered the man. "For me, the grace of God is sufficient. If I have that, I have everything."

"No," the angel replied, "God has ordered me to give you something. If you will not choose, I will have to choose for you."

The holy man sat pondering.

"Yes, I have an idea," he said at last. "Grant that good is done through me without my realizing it."

The angel went straight up to heaven to refer back to God. God was very pleased with the idea, and so issued a decree that the shadow of this man would have the gift of healing. Whoever the shadow would fall upon would be healed of his illness! So it came about that crowds of people would follow this man so his shadow might fall upon them.

But the man never even noticed for the people were more interested in his shadow than in himself...

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A state minister of a Latin American government put this banner on the wall of her office:

Do good in silence.
Love God and your neighbor in silence.
Accept the will of God in silence.
Be happy with others in silence.
Hide the defects of others in silence.
Long for great things in silence.
Embrace the cross of Christ in silence.
Be faithful to the end..... in silence.
And so you will enjoy the Silence of Intimacy forever.

The Future of the Church

The Pope has been repeating it over and over again.

Evangelization. New evangelization. What does it mean? It means simply that the man of today, at the threshold of the year 2000, needs to listen again the good news of Jesus Christ! In the midst of today's confusion and muddled values, where there are too many people suffering because of economic and political systems which fail to solve the real problems, Jesus Christ must be presented anew. Christianity believes that it possesses the real answer to man's anguish.

Well over a decade ago Pope Paul VI had the courage to state and to repeat that the Church must be built again psychologically and pastorally afresh. And the present Pope is reiterating over and over again the need for a new proclamation of the Gospel, even and especially in countries where Christianity has roots going back down the ages. This evangelization has to be "new as regards its ardor, its methods and in its expressions".

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Something somewhere has gone wrong! The values which motivate our lives are not evangelical. Religion is more of a tranquilizer than a driving force. A bishop was once heard to lament : "Wherever Jesus went there was a revolution; wherever I go, people serve tea!" The majority still seek the sacraments but few make an authentic journey of faith and conversion.

In our Western world, we are basically faced with two challenges. On the one hand a secularized culture that shelves God from its conscience and gives priority to the acquisition of material goods and immediate pleasure, with the obvious result that gradually we become allergic to anything that is transcendental. And, on the other hand spiritual disorientation because the fast growing idols of success, comfort and money beguile man's heart to such an extent that one finds himself lost and confused.

Hence a radical solution is needed. When the pond dries up and the fish are lying on the parched land, to moisten them with one's breath or damp them with spittle is no substitute for flinging them back into the lake... remarks Anthony de Mello. Consequently it is not a question of multiplying masses and devotions or even of a basic intellectual transmission of more doctrine. Neither it is a question of organizing ourselves better. The Church in many places is running the risk of becoming too clustered with structures and organization. The priest is becoming more and more an administrator and less and less a shepherd.

What is really needed is on-going catechises capable of leading Christians (and priests are Christians, too!) to a progressive rediscovery of the faith and of the Christian life as a following of Christ. This is not a luxury reserved to a particular elite but the basic vision of any healthy pastoral outlook. Without ignoring children, such activity must be directed with particular attention to adults - they are the first witnesses and educators of the young. Faith transmits itself by osmosis in any family!

How can one work a valid on-going catechises with the fundamental objective of forming mature Christians? It is the one million dollar question which has quite a simple answer!

The Church has always considered the experience of the Christian life as a journey of faith. From the very first centuries, there was a concern to accompany and sustain those who wanted to become the Lord's disciples through an exacting journey of faith. This was the reason why the catechumenate as an extended and progressive insertion into the mystery of Christ and into the Church mission was born.

Even today this catechumenate remains the model for forming adult Christians. It comprises the various factors which make up a pedagogical and organic process of conversion - the acceptance of the 'good news' of Christ, the deepening of the Gospel message, the celebration of the sacraments in renewed efficacy, and the commitment to share the burden of the ecclesial mission. God has already inaugurated this reality not only through the RCIA but also through a new charism called the Neocatechumenate which is already giving abundant fruits in more than hundred nations worldwide.

Our mission is not to create new projects but to discover his plans and to work on them. He is such a creative artist!

All that is Light is Jesus Christ

"All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him down the cliff." (Luke 4, 28-29)

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Molokai is one of the islands which make up the Hawaiian Islands. It is known as the friendly island. But for the lepers in the mid 1800 it was anything but friendly. Here they were isolated and secluded in a desperate effort not to let this disease spread throughout all the islands. No buildings, no shelters, no potable water, no medicine ... they were left there to rot and die.

The situation started changing in 1873, when a young Sacred Heart priest of 33, Father Damien De Veuster , Flemish, offered himself to go and help out the people there. It was a courageous decision because it meant basically stepping into a living graveyard. In fact just eleven years later, one morning he was pouring some hot water into a cup when the water swirled out and fell onto his bare foot. It took him a moment to realize that he had not felt any sensation. Gripped by the sudden fear of what this could mean, he poured more hot water on the same spot. No feeling whatsoever. Father Damien immediately realized what had happened. He had contacted the disease.

In his first liturgy with his people after this incident, he acknowledged this fact by starting his homily in this simple way: " We lepers...."

He had become one of them in a very real and tragic sense. The disease invaded his windpipe and progressed to such an extent that he could only sleep but for a few hours. His voice was reduced to a whisper. Leprosy was in his throat, lungs, stomach, and intestines. Four years later he was dead, practically abandoned by everyone.

Censured

1800 years earlier another man had taken the same path and suffered the same consequences.... in a much more drastic and radical way. He was God. But for our sake he lost everything and became man. He knew what it would cost him. He bore in his pure body the marks of evil so that we may be made whole.

Yet this Man suffered constant rejection. Age 30, he came to Nazareth, his hometown. Choosing the prophet Isaiah, chapter 61, he announced the wonderful news that he had come to free the captives and release the prisoners and give sight to the blind. This is his mission in life : He can and he wants to break our addictions. All of us find ourselves addicted .. . to sex, gossip, fears, anxieties, alcohol, pain killers, suspicions, guilt. We find ourselves unable to get out of them. We cannot not worry. We cannot not feel guilty. We cannot get rid of all these shackles of sin and vice. We would like to, perhaps, but we are simply not able. Many offer us solutions. Many tell us to be positive.

But no one really gives us the strength to overpower these fetters.

Jesus Christ announces in Nazareth that He came just for us, prisoners and captives. And the good news is that He came with power. He *can* break the chains and set us free. He has come purposely to destroy this slave master. He is a giant killer. He brings healing and forgiveness.

The irony is that not only they did not welcome him, they tried to kill him. Here is someone who has the real solution to their real problems and they try to eliminate him.

Why? The reason is simple. They expected a different kind of Jesus, a successful Jesus, a Jesus who does miracles more often, a Jesus who solves problems, a Jesus who does things the way they want them to be.

The irony is more tragic if we realize that perhaps this is the same problem with us. Last week I went to hospital to visit this young girl who has been in a comatose state for the last seven, eight years. I asked about her parents. Loving, dear parents. They do no longer come to Church, I was told, because they sustain that God was not fair with them. He should never have let this thing happen. Recently I met this couple whom I had blessed their marriage a few years back. They are angry at God because their only child was born mongoloid. "It is better to be mean and have fun and do what the heck you want to do than to be good", they tearfully remarked.

A mystery. Anger fills the heart of those who miss out on grace.

Confrontation

A very important question. How does God present himself? He presents himself in the events which we are living. In this nagging wife, in his oblivious husband, in this painful arthritis, in this mortgage problem. But I want Him to present himself in a different way. A pleasant wife, a caring husband, fantastic health, lots of success. A miracle worker! And if I do not get what I want, many times I fall into self pity, I feel myself a victim of circumstances and try to gratify myself in my infantile pleasures...

Perhaps deep down we do not want to get rid of our addictions because that is the only source of enjoyment in life... When it is cold outside even a filthy coat will do its job. One can gets used to prison life. Survival in Egypt after all is not all that bad...

Our ideas, our plans can blind us to the love of God.

But Jesus Christ is what He is and not what we want him to be. He knows what is best for us. Even in Israel, He showed himself in the unassuming appearance of a normal man. A very normal man with a very normal history.

Later on He even revealed himself in a cross. In fact this was His supreme manifestation. And this is how He is going to manifest himself to us. In the everyday events of our lives. In life the way it is and not in life the way we want it to be. The cross, the pain, the injury, the hurt... is not a mistake. It is an appointment.

We can take two attitudes in front of the events which life presents especially when they are is not to our liking. We can ask God to get us out it! "Get me out, Lord!" Please, quickly! It is too much.... And we risk throwing Jesus Christ down the cliff. Or with Jesus and like Jesus we can ask God to pull us through! "Pull me through, Lord!" God is smart. He does not make mistakes. He can even turn the mistakes of others in our favor. He gives us always what we need. If we need failure, he gives us failure. If we need success, He gives us success . If we need a garden of Gethsemane, He gives us a garden of Gethsemane. He is not a neurotic parent. He is a Father.

All the farmers knew that the co-op paid top dollars if they brought the potatoes already sorted - small, medium, large. However they noticed that this farmer always took the potatoes right out of the ground and hauled them directly to town. He didn't sort them and yet he got top dollars.

When they protested with the manager, his answer was simple and outright : "No, men, you are wrong. He always has his potatoes sorted out. You know the trick? While you all take the good nice road to town, he always takes the road with all the holes and bumps! Man, big potatoes always rise to the top on a rough road."

God can do marvels on the rough road.

Do not throw Jesus down the cliff when He is not to your liking. Power is in Him whom we reject!

A doctor who specializes in critical care once wrote to Father Thomas McSweeney, author of The Christopher Notes and told him this story : "As an intern years ago, I was examining a comatose patent much as I have done for the previous two weeks. Never considering that she might have the ability to understand questions or communicate, I was shocked to hear her mumble some words. As I drew nearer to her. I notices that the nurse had just opened the window curtains and a ray of sun was shining on her face. I shielded her eyes from the sun and listened closely as she whispered to me,
"Remember, Doctor, all that is light is Jesus Christ."

Those close to death are in contact with a mystery. The simple mystery that all our life is light if we have eyes to see it, because all our lives is from Jesus Christ.

The Triumph of Failure

"I'm going out to fish," Simon Peter told them, and they said, "We'll go with you." So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them, "Friends, haven't you any fish?" (John 21, 3-5)

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The young man approached Abba and asked him : "Show me how I can find God." "How great is this desire of yours?" asked the saintly man. "More than anything in the world," came the reply. The Abba took the young man to the shore of a lake and they waded into the water until it was up to their necks. Then the holy man put his hand on the other's head and pushed him under water. The young man struggled desperately, but the Abba did not release him until he was about to drown. When they returned to the shore, the old man asked, "Son, when you were under water, what did you want more than anything in the world?" "Air," he replied without hesitation. 'Well, then, when you want to find God as much as you just then wanted air, your eyes will be opened to the wonder of God."

A strange story. Very much like God! He is so foreign to our two-centimeters-brain! He has His own pedagogy. His own way of approaching us and convince us of His love.

John finishes his Gospel with an apparition of the Risen Christ. He appears to seven of his disciples - Simon Peter, Thomas (called Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples. He starts his story so : "Afterwards Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Tiberias" John 21, 1. That word "again" is highly significant. There is an urgency in everything Jesus is doing. He wants to convince us that He is alive with power over all our problems. He wants to convince is that we are not alone in our life' struggles. "God exalted him at his right hand as Leader and Savior", as Peter states to the high council in Acts 5, and He is eager to make us understand this. In this way, He knows, we can taste heaven now!

What is difficult to understand many times is His timing. He works on a different schedule. He waited until Abraham was seventy five years old, without children, without land and without hope, before He came to His rescue. He waited four hundred years before He intervened in Egypt in favor of His people. He walked for forty years in the desert with His chosen race before He let them taste the "milk and honey" of the promised land. He let His people experience the bitterness of the exile for many years before He brought them back home.

Why? So urgent and yet so slow! Why does He many times let us hit rock bottom before He intervenes?!

The pedagogy of God

John 21 can be eye-opener. Peter was utterly dejected and disappointed, "I am going fishing" he tells his companions. "I am going back to my former life style." It was good as long as it lasted. But now it is over. Another dream broken. Another illusion which melted in thin air. He had hoped really that this Jesus will make a breakthrough. He believed He was the Messiah. But then He died. A tragic death. The powers of evil always have the upper hand in this world of ours. And so Peter went again fishing... Disillusioned. "Let me return to my daily humdrum life". And that night he caught nothing. Nothing. No fish. They were all expert fishermen, they were working at night when it is the best time to catch fish and yet ... nothing. Failure after failure.

It is then, and only then, that the Master approaches. "Just after daybreak, Jesus stood on the beach : but the disciples did not know that it was Jesus. Jesus said to them : "Friends, you have no fish?... Cast the net to the right side of the boat...."

We live in a society which has no place for drop outs. No one likes failing. Failure is a very demoralizing thing. All of us have had that experience. Broken relationships, financial mishaps, flunking a class in school, treating our children or parents, or co-workers poorly. You try, you spend so much energy, you utilize all the resources available but you gain nothing. Good intentions but yet...

Yet in God's infinite wisdom, failure is a privileged place. It can become the place where Jesus meets us. Many saints met God in the cross roads of failure. Because... failure makes us humble; it makes us conscious of our limits. Failure can give us the enormous grace to strip off our false and clumsy conceit and put on virtue and comeliness. It is in failure that a man begins to think, to wonder about life and perhaps, to look upwards to Him who can turn failure into a glorious achievement.

In life we can do worse than fail. We can succeed and be proud of our success. Success - yes, even spiritual success - can be a snare and a ruin, while failure can be an unspeakable benefit.

The beauty of failure

God is interested in us. And He sees how sometimes we are so stupid that we do not realize that it is to our own advantage if the man of the flesh dies. It is to our own advantage if the man who is always wimpy, grumbling, never satisfied, always craving for more gratification... if he is killed. We are the one to gain if he dies. The quicker He dies, the better it is for us and for all those around us!

And so sometimes God forces our limits on us. He intervenes with strength. He is forceful. .... A son runs away from home, the doctor diagnoses cancer, your daughter breaks to you the news that she is pregnant and she is only sixteen, you fail to get the promotion which you deserve, you fall into some serious sin... these are not mistakes. Through events He makes us realize who we are - human beings, not gods, sinners not saints. We may like to be gods, we may think we are gods. But we are not! We are so awkward constantly wearing shoes which are not ours! Wearing the shoes of a god when we are just creatures!

These events which He forces on us are part of the pedagogy of God to wake us up from our alienation. To put us on our knees. To start yelling. To start looking beyond our nose.. To start catching real fish.

In fact, look what happened. "So they cast it, and now they were not able to haul it in, for the quantity of fish....So Simon Peter went aboard and hauled the net ashore, full of large fish, a hundred and fifty-three of them; and although there were so many, the net was not torn. "

Evangelization

Why does the Gospel reports that there were exactly 153 fish caught in the net? The early Church always saw the image of getting fish out of the seas - which symbolize problems, darkness, the world - as a sign of evangelization : Jesus Christ saving us from the hell of suffering. That is why Saint Jerome, one of the early church father and a Biblical scholar himself, said that among the Greeks it was widely regarded that there were 153 kinds of fish in the sea. Hence John wanted to stress the universality of the good news. Jesus Christ came to save everyone. Even us! No matter what kind of fish we may be dealing with, all can be caught by the gospel net!

Saint Augustine is even more sharp : if you add through the numbers from 1 through 17, you will get 153, he says. Why seventeen? Because seventeen is made up of TEN which represent the Law, and SEVEN which represent the Holy Spirit. The Christian is the one who fulfills the Law with the power and the strength of the Holy Spirit. The Christian is the one who "shares in the grace of the Spirit, by which grace harmony is established with the law of God, as with an adversary; so that through the life-giving Spirit the letter no longer kills, but what is commanded by the letter is fulfilled by the help of the Spirit, and if there is any deficiency it is pardoned. All therefore who are sharers in such grace are symbolically represented" (Saint Augustine).

Jesus Christ is so tender. He prepares a breakfast for them. Breakfast by the sea! Beside a charcoal fire - remember that it was while Peter was warming himself over a charcoal fire in the courtyard of the high priest that he denied his Lord - he gives a mission to Peter. Instead of reprimanding the one who betrayed him in front of a woman he answers to his three betrayals with a three questions and affirmations of His love. That is God. He answers evil with good. If only we discover this love early in our life... Everything is impossible. But God exists.

We can be very shortsighted. We believe that life is what we see, what we have in our hands. We forget heaven so easily. We are here for a short time. We shall be there for ever. The vision is enormous. And so God many times snatches the world from our hands so that we are forced to open our arms and snatch at heaven. The Book of Revelations is so full of victory which can be ours...

We see failures as a problem. God sees them as a blessing. Robert Wise, in his book The Churning Place tells the story of a friend who used to call him every Monday morning, and the conversation would go something like this: "Hello. This is God. I have a gift for you today. I want to give you the gift of failing. Today you do not have to succeed. I grant that to you." And then the friend would hang up. Wise commented, "The first time, I couldn't believe it. It was really the Gospel. God's love means it's even o.k. to fail. You don't have to be the greatest thing in the world. You can just be you."

God is so good and so powerful and so caring that He transforms even these setbacks into springs of graces for us and for those whom we love.

What an deal!

A friend from New Zealand just sent me this story. The cheerful girl with bouncy golden curls was almost five. Waiting with her mother at the checkout stand, she saw them: a circle of glistening white pearls in a pink foil box. "Oh please, Mommy. Can I have them? Please, Mommy, please!" Quickly the mother checked the back of the little foil box and then looked back into the pleading blue eyes of her little girl's upturned face. "A dollar ninety-five. That's almost $2.00. If you really want them, I'll think of some extra chores for you and in no time you can save enough money to buy them for yourself. Your birthday's only a week away and you might get another crisp dollar bill from Grandma."

As soon as Jenny got home, she emptied her penny bank and counted out 17 pennies. After dinner, she did more than her share of chores and she went to the neighbor and asked Mrs. McJames if she could pick dandelions for ten cents. On her birthday, Grandma did give her another new dollar bill and at last she had enough money to buy the necklace.

Jenny loved her pearls. They made her feel dressed up and grown up. She wore them everywhere - Church, kindergarten, even to bed. The only time she took them off was when she went swimming or had a bubble bath. Mother said if they got wet, they might turn her neck green.

Jenny had a very loving daddy and every night when she was ready for bed, he would stop whatever he was doing and come upstairs to read her a story. One night when he finished the story, he asked Jenny, "Do you love me?" "Oh yes, Daddy. You know that I love you." "Then give me your pearls." "Oh, Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have Princess - the white horse from my collection. The one with the pink tail. Remember, Daddy? The one you gave me. She's my favorite." "That's okay, Honey. Daddy loves you. Good night." And he brushed her cheek with a kiss. About a week later, after the story time, Jenny's daddy asked again, "Do you love me?" "Daddy, you know I love you." "Then give me your pearls." "Oh Daddy, not my pearls. But you can have my baby doll. The brand new one I got for my birthday. She is so beautiful and you can have the yellow blanket that matches her sleeper." "That's okay. Sleep well. God bless you, little one. Daddy loves you." And as always, he brushed her cheek with a gentle kiss.

A few nights later when her daddy came in, Jenny was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed Indian-style. As he came close, he noticed her chin was trembling and one silent tear rolled down her cheek. "What is it, Jenny? What's the matter?" Jenny didn't say anything but lifted her little hand up to her daddy. And when she opened it, there was her little pearl necklace. With a little quiver, she finally said, "Here, Daddy. It's for you." With tears gathering in his own eyes, Jenny's kind daddy reached out with one hand to take the dime-store necklace, and with the other hand he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet case with a strand of genuine pearls and gave them to Jenny. He had them all the time. He was just waiting for her to give up the dime-store stuff so he could give her genuine treasure.

It's so like God.

The Kiss of Peace

"Let us offer each other the sign of peace", says the President, and the people go around the hall kissing each other on both cheeks! There is an obvious difference between an ordinary parochial celebration of the Eucharist and that of the neocatechumenal communities. This can be seen mainly in the arrangement of the liturgical space and in the manner by which the liturgy is carried out. Yet one thing will surely go unnoticed: that the sign of peace takes place after the prayer of the faithful and before the preparation of the gifts.


The rite's location in the neocatechumenal liturgy, which is granted as an indult by Rome, has its foundation on the words of Christ: "So then, if you are bringing your offering to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your offering there before the altar, go and be reconciled with your brother first, and then come back and present your offering." It connotes reconciliation and brotherly love. Another reason is that the Neocatechumenal Way seeks to remove the pretensions, social masks and hypocrisy of all the members of the community as they continue walking through the years which results in knowing one another faults and weaknesses. Consequently, misunderstandings or quarrels often arise and therefore constant and immediate reconciliation must be sought. Gradually, all community members will have learned to accept each other as they are, even in their worst. Here, real communion (koinonia) starts. This is precisely a work of the Holy Spirit and not an outcome of human efforts to keep people together.

Another surprising fact is the manner by which the peace is done: it is in the form of a kiss.

Greeting one another by means of a kiss is a normal western Mediterranean custom. However the New Testament's emphasis on its being holy meant that it was more than a greeting (Romans 16.16; 1 Corinthians 16.20b; 2 Corinthians 13.12a; 1 Thessalonians 5.26; 1 Peter 5.14a.).

In our contemporary society kissing is a sign of intimacy and deep affection for someone. It is the same also with the Christian, his love mus be deep and eternal, it must reflect that of his Master, a love in the dimension of the cross.

Universally, the forms that came to dominate were the bow and the handshake. Again, prima facie this is not an unreasonable choice: as an indication that one is unarmed, the handshake is certainly as sign of peace. Unfortunately, though, it is a better sign of the peace that comes from the city of man rather than from the city of God. Handshaking signifies a truce or deal, the kind of agreement one makes in politics and business. It is not primarily a sign of love or intimacy. Indeed, unlike the kiss and every other sacred gesture, it has undergone no modification that would mark it as distinctive from the "profane" handshakes outside the liturgy, and thus it essentially retains its wordly resonance.

Moreover, a handshake is not a kiss in any form, and hence its liturgical use marks a break not only from a previously unbroken apostolic custom but from the rich cluster of meanings that came with it. It is for these reasons that a more pugnacious commentator than I might be tempted to conclude that regrettably, the current Roman kiss of peace is neither Roman nor a kiss nor about Christian peace.

Love is a costly thing

When visiting the owner of a tavern, the Rabbi saw two farmers who were heavily intoxicated. Arms around each other, they were protesting how much each loved the other. Suddenly Ivan said to Peter, “Peter, tell me, what hurts me?” Groggily, Peter looked at Ivan, “How do I know what hurts you?” Ivan’s answer was swift, “If you don’t know what hurts me, how can you say you love me?”

That day I learnt what love is, the Rabbi always concluded. When you love someone you go beyond the façade and see the heart. It is there that the game of life is played. It is there that we celebrate and weep. Only the one who loves us can penetrate and touches us there. And cry or laugh with us. This is how God loves us.

But God does not only love us. He does more. This struck me when one day I accompanied home a father of a year and a half old child. The moment we entered the door, the small boy came flying down the stairs, screaming ‘dad, dad’ in obvious glee. He had just come out of the bath, he was dripping wet and when he reached dad, he just threw his arms around him and gave him a big affectionate hug. Would you think the father minded getting wet? Not at all! He just grasped the child and threw him lovingly in the air and then started kissing him…

I suppose these are the feelings that God has for you and me. More than loving us, He delights in us. We amuse Him! We bring him great enjoyment and pleasure! I suppose this is what God meant when He uttered from heaven “This is my beloved Son in whom my soul delights.” The big news is that He adopted us in His family. In baptism we become family. We can go His family outings, picnics, birthday parties! Our relationship with God is not formal, distant and legal but close, warm and loving.

When yesterday I visited the hospital, the difference was so stark in the two patients I visited. One was alone, restless, agitated to the point that the nurses had to tie him down to bed. Very sad. Very angry. The other, a mother of nine children was very calm and relaxed. And what made me so happy was to see her surrounded by her husband and all her nine children. All of them were there – and distances in Canada are big - one was softly chanting a song, the other was holding the mother’s hand, the other was rubbing her leg…Tenderness surrounded this woman. God – I believe - is like these children of this mother.

We can live life restless and agitated, imagining that we are alone. Thinking that we are uncared for and unloved by God. Like that man in the hospital. Or we can bask in the certainty that God is around us, loving us and sustaining us. Believing deep down what Saint Paul once said that nothing can separate us from His love.

A missionary tells this moving story that happened to him in Sudan. This woman was lying on the ground holding in her arms a tiny baby girl. He only had a cooked sweet potato that he gave to her. Not much but that was the only thing he had.

Before departing, he could not but admire the dedication of this mother. Taking a bite she was chewing the sweet potato carefully and placing her mouth over her baby’s mouth, she was forcing the soft warm food into the tiny throat. Although the mother was starving, she used the entire potato to keep her baby alive.

The missionary finishes the story recounting how during the night the mother’s heart stopped, but her little girl lived.

Love is a costly thing. It cost Our Father in heaven His only Son!

This conviction that we are loved makes life simpler. This is why there are people who give their lives to spread this good news. A one legged school teacher from Scotland once came to the missionary office to offer himself for service in China. “With only one leg, why do you think of going as a missionary? Asked the person in charge. “I do not see those with two legs going…” was the simple stark answer!

We are a servant people. Let us serve.